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[Friday
July 10th, 2009 ] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
] |
So both of us are mad for
Nothing, fighting for
Nothin', crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go for
Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got
Oh baby, I know sometimes it gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain
And i don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And i don't want you to go to bed mad at me
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[Monday
February 23rd, 2009 ] |
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and life just keeps on getting worse.....
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[Saturday
February 21st, 2009 ] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
] |
i hate being 2 and a half hours away from Jeff and not being able to see him on weekends is tough =(
i am so happy that i finally have a job and i can have money, but my reason for wanting money was so i could take trips on weekends to be with my boy and so some weekends he could spend time with me. now i work every saturday and sunday so i won't ever be able to see him.
sometimes i wish i could just drop out of college and say goodbye to everything here just so i could be with the one person who makes me happy 24/7
i miss him so much when he isn't around =,(
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[Sunday
January 4th, 2009 ] |
i've made up my mind i can't live here anymore
so i am applying to buff state next year
major = undecided
and getting an apartment, but i am going to need a roomie. any takers?
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| fuck life |
[Sunday
January 4th, 2009 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 moody |
] |
so i am at the point where i would rather drop out of school and find a full time job just so i can move our of my house permanently.
i have been searching for a job all during break and can not find one. i don't wanna go back to tim hortons because i hated the hours they use to give me, and plus i dont have time to sit around and do CDs for hours just so i can make 7.50 an hour instead of 7.15.
i hate living at home because i never have my own privacy my parents are always doing something to intrude and i hate it, i don't wanna go back to daemen because i hate that school, but i dont wanna stay here either. and as much as i would love to drop out i know i would get no where in life, so i am stuck living in this miserable house and finishing off my year at a school i hate, at least i have good friends though to help me get through everything. i just wish i had money to go and do things.
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[Saturday
December 27th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
] |
suddenly i feel sick
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[Monday
December 15th, 2008 ] |
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i hate my family i hate them all
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[Friday
December 12th, 2008 ] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
so i am home and already my father is yelling at home....
counting down the days until i get to move back to college!
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| what i've learned |
[Friday
December 12th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
] |
i have learned a lot actually this first semester....
*i have realize who my true friends are and maybe the ones you always thought you were closest to, really weren't that close at all.
*studying really does make a different, i use to never study in HS and just based off what i remembered in class.
*true friends don't judge you
*whats meant to be always finds a way. i use to think maybe that quote was a bunch of shit put together to make things seem like they get easier, when in reality, things that are meant to work always find a way.
i found out this semester who my true friends are and which ones are going to be there for me through thick and thin...and i am glad the ones i found are the ones i have, even though they turned out to be different people then i originally had thought.
i guess i have also realized that yea Jeff and i we may fight, but in the end we are ok and usually by the next day we forgive and forget and that's one of the many things i love about him. and i know with him that if we're meant to be, we will find a way to work through everything.
<3
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[Thursday
November 20th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lonely |
] |
how is it that no matter how many people are in a room with me unless i am with him i feel all alone
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[Sunday
November 9th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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unwanted |
] |
| [ |
music |
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forgotten |
] |
i need a change from buffalo, i am so sick of this place =(
i just want to be somewhere that i feel wanted and not so alone.
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[Friday
November 7th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the girl inside |
] |
why do i let everything get to me and bring me down. i am such a downer all the time now. i show my emotions so easily i wear them on my sleeve. i wish he knew how much i really do care and love him still. i just wanna be with him again.
ao i have realized my birthday is in 10 days and its gonna be the worst ever. its the first one without my friends around, without jeff and without my grandma. i can't believe its been a year since she had her surgery and its been roughly a half a year without her, things just arn't the same anymore.
boy is my life a mess =(
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| at the end of every storm there is a rainbow....but this must be one heavy storm i'm living in |
[Thursday
November 6th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
i just don't know how to handle things anymore. there is only one boy in my life that i would do anything for and i don't think he realizes how much i love and care about him. he was always all i ever wanted even before i knew him staring at him during study hall freshman year and sophomore year before i knew him talking to him/waiting up online every night. when we finally started dating i was the luckiest girl in the world and yea we hit our bumps and breakups here and there but we always made it we grew stronger and more in love. and now when it seems like this could really be the end i start to die on the inside because i would still do anything for him.
all i want in life is a way to get him back....and i have no idea how i will ever be able to accomplish this task =(
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[Wednesday
November 5th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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rejected |
] |
idk what to do since i keep on falling for him over and over i just hope things really do end up going back to the way things use to be like we have been talking about.
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| sad |
[Monday
October 13th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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little romance |
] |
is it wrong to of had such an amazing weekend and now to be jealous its over and for him to be back with his friends when i wish i was with him.
i feel as though he is perfect for me, and i hope i am for him or at least that i was.
i would give the world to go back to the way things were =(
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[Monday
October 6th, 2008 ] |
You Would Be a Good Spouse 85% of the Time
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You have what it takes to be an amazing wife or husband.
You are caring, patient, giving, and romantic. You are willing to work for a marriage.
More than anything, you're not about to let your ego ruin a relationship.
You are humble and unselfish. And that's the key to being a good spouse.
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| can't i be happy? |
[Monday
October 6th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
t-shirt |
] |
sometimes i just don't know what to do...or how to handle the things life has thrown at me. i feel just like giving up sometimes, but yet i know i should never give up because giving up is for failures.
my life just pretty much all together sucks and i wish that i was able to rewind time.
i can't handle everything going on
"Nothing feels right when I'm not with you
sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choo's.
Taking them off cause I feel a fool
tryna dress up when I'm missin you.
Ima step out this lingerie
curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
In bed I lay
with nothing but your t-shirt on
Hey
gotta be strong, gotta be strong but I'm
really hurting now that your gone. I
thought maybe I'd do some shopping
but I couldn't get past the door and,
now i dont know, now i dont know if I,
ever really gon let you go.
and I couldn't even leave my apartment
stripped down torn up about it. "
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| sometimes i wonder |
[Friday
October 3rd, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Becoming Jane |
] |
was i not good enough for him
could i of embarrassed him
did i not show him enough love
or was my love to much
what else could i of done
to of made things work
i am still very confused if i will ever get to be with my love again
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| such a lonely cold fall day |
[Friday
October 3rd, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
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cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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don't wanna miss a thing |
] |
so i don't think many people know why i have been sad, moody and putting depressing away messages up. Well Jeff decided that we needed a break from one another for right now. it makes me really sad to think about it because i love him so much and miss him more then ever because we are 2 and a half hours away from one another. sometimes i wish i could just drive to him to talk about things, but i know i can't.
i also wish i had my friends here because i could really use them right now.
anyways that is the reason for all the sad away messages.
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| the colloege plague |
[Friday
September 5th, 2008 ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
so Kimmy and i were just making macaroni and cheese and wrote the college plagues
God said to the college kids
thou shalt sweat like no other, and then thou shalt break out in zits like thou hast never had before.
you shall also fart all the time and shit for a week straight like never before
tho shalt also quote Dane Cook at 2A.M and thou shalt think its the funniest shit ever.....I JUST CAME
Then thou shalt walk down windsper to find a party and almost get shot then drive home in the back seat with of a cop car.
and if you survive all those thou shalt send you the indian teacher who doesnt speak english.
these are the plagues for college students
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